My gracious Lord has been pointing my eyes to the truth I've been avoiding for so long. I've been going through a lot of things in my life that were confusing as I continue in this journey of exploring this amazing world of grace.
You know, through this time of confusion, the Lord clarified a lot of major things in my life, especially my calling in the ministry. I've always known that the Lord has called me to full time ministry BUT have been terrified of accepting this call and starting the walk of faith FULLY. I've done it partially and have seen how hard it is, because with the Lord you either fully submit or you don't. There are no half decisions and half surrendering in the kingdom of God.
Disobedience is not fun, I'm sure I got a taste of the whale's stomach as Jonah did after disobeying the Lord and trying to run away and follow his own dreams. I felt the sting of other's sin, I got a taste of my own sin, a taste of discomfort and discontent to the fullest. The interesting thing is that it all pushed me to the Lord. No matter how hard Satan tried to discourage me and push me to lose hope and flee from the place the Lord planted me to be in, I held on and stayed because the Lord is my strength.
I never want to be in the whale's stomach again. I want to remember the lessons I learned from this long hard time and obey the Lord one step after another so once obedience will lead to another. I'm super excited to be taking the next step of faith and step into the unknowns that open up opportunities for me to see God's mighty hands in my life.
My God is gracious and wants me to follow Him because I love Him and I will.