Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I entrust my life to my Lord!

I woke up this morning with an urge of missing a dear someone in my life who lives in a far while I'm here in the U.S. I didn't know what to pray or how to pray or for what to pray...all I said was GOD PLEASE DO YOUR WILL whatever that may be. well, I got up and got ready for work then opened my e-mail before I head out to work to find a precious e-mail from my bff Lilly.

It read,

"Consider the lilies, how they grow."(Matt. 6:28.)

"I NEED oil," said an ancient monk; so he planted an olive sapling. "Lord," he prayed, "it needs rain that its tender roots may drink and swell. Send gentle showers." And the lord sent gentle showers. "Lord," prayed the monk, "my tree needs sun. Send sun, I pray Thee. "And the sun shone, gilding the dripping clouds. "Now frost, my Lord, to brace its tissues," cried the monk. And behold, the little tree stood sparkling with frost, but at evening it died.

Then the monk sought the cell of a brother monk, and told his strange experience. "I, too, planted a little tree," he said, "and see! it thrives well. But I entrust my tree to its God. He who made it knows better what it needs than a man like me. I laid no condition. I fixed not ways or means. `Lord, send what it needs, 'I prayed, `storm or sunshine, wind, rain, or frost. Thou hast made it and Thou dost know.'"
--- Selected

Yes, leave it with Him, The lilies ad do, And they grow ---

They grow in the rain, And they grow in the dew ---

Yes, they grow: They grow in the darkness, all hid in the night ---

They grow in the sunshine, revealed by the light ---

Still they grow.

Yes, leave it with Him, 'Tis more dear to His heart, You will know, Than the lilies that bloom, Or the flowers that start `Neath the snow: Whatever you need, if you seek it in prayer, You can leave it with Him for you are His care. You, you know.
--- Selected.

It was the perfect message for my day...God is the giver of all the dreams I have in my life and I don't want to have a say in it because I want to see the Olive flourished not dead.

I love you Lord, please take my life, my relationship...everything and do what you like with it and may it flourish in your timing.

Love you xoxoxo

Sunday, March 21, 2010

40 years for a 40 days long trip.

Wow, it just made sense last night. I was sitting in the metro, coming back from Eastern Market and It hit me in the long train ride - it took me 2 years to get to where God wanted me instead of one.

You see God had offered me an opportunity to take 2 years ago to serve him fully but I wasn't ready to give up my "career". I was a new college graduate who wanted to explore Washington, DC and see what's out there for me. God had opened up a door for me to serve him at a church in full time ministry which by the way has been my passion since I could remember, but I said no thank you. I wanted to see what's out there, so he let me but lead me back to the church again.

But this time not in full time ministry as I had always felt called to do. It was as a support to the full time ministry. Hmmm....very humbling. I supported knowing that I was placed here for character building. Was it productive? YES! I finally got it, it's like David serving Saul even though he knew he was called to be king. Humility is learned not inborn.

I am now fully surrendering my life to the Lord, that he may use me as he pleases, full time or not. I'm all his. Lord I thank you for allowing me to see your will sooner than later.

I love you,

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Love is not self seeking

Had a long day yesterday, went to a bible study directly after work and when I got home it was 10:00pm. I hardly had time to do anything b/c the next morning I’ve to be up and do my devotions/which is something I promised God I’d be consistent about/ so I had no time for anybody. Didn’t even call my friend who ‘s been trying to get in touch with me for the past 3 days because I needed to sleep and be up and ready for God in the morning. I get in bed around 10:45 ish and force myself to sleep, I fall asleep.

I wake up hearing my roommate laughing loudly and talking very comfortably which I presume is on her cell phone. Then I check my phone for time it is 1:45am….what 1:45am doesn’t she know that I have a meeting with God in the morning, and that this is not just her house. Arrgh…. I’m now wide awake mad at my roommate, talking myself out of not getting up and telling her to keep it down b/c we’re sleeping. Then I sense the Holy Spirit saying to me, isn’t the reason you want to be up in the morning to speak with me so that I’ll teach you to walk like Christ? Yes, and then it clicks, I am not being Christ like at all...I'm only looking at what my needs are, then these verses flooded in my head.

1 Corinthians 13 (New International Version)

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

John 13:34-35 (New International Version)

34"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Romans 12:17-22 (New International Version)

17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

It’s not what I do for God (reading his word, praying, fasting) which btw is something I do for my own spiritual enrichment but it’s what I do for the people around me that count as what I do for him. If I want to please him and practicaly love him, I need to love those around me and serve them b/c everything else counts as nothing….all my so put together efforts are nothing unless I do them all with Love.

God showed me at 2:00am in the morning that LOVE IS Not Self Seeking at all. So friends, our responsibility is to be found faithful where God has put us. Oh what a joy when we are found faithful.

Glory be to the Lord,