God is such a clear direction giver but I am such a confused follower. Because I want both what my flesh sees and what God sees for my life, I often get confused and second guess God's clear request for me to obey him. I forget that "to obey is better than sacrifice" 1Samuel 15:22 you know why? because with obedience comes a deeper understanding of who Christ is, which gives me the knowledge to live in light of eternity.
My delimma is mostly between two really good choices. God gives me a choice that I know is perfect for my life but totally uncomfortable and a bit crazy seeming for the moment. My flesh directs me to a choice that is logically correct and absolutely right for the moment, or at least it seems but it's answer is just for the moment not for eternity. I get torn between the spiritual and the logical, my brain tells me "do it now, make your choice, you don't want to pass the deadline, because a chance like this might never be gained." My God tells me,"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you" psalm 32:8. His purpose is to help me grow and to make choices because I understand what it means to go from glory to glory by imitating Christ, not this world.
What amazes me is that God doesn't give me a deadline or pressure me to do it his way, even though he has every right to do so. He just loves me, and comforts me, he encourages me to trust him and let him be my God. What a gentle and loving father he is. His support helps me grow, it opens up my eyes to see the spiritual and not only the logical and I make my choice, to OBEY my God.
what get me are questions like, Why does he love me so much? Isn't it enough that he gave his sinless son for my wretchedness and blessed me with an eternal life? Doesn't he get tired of my insecurities and my unbelief? Why does he love me so much that he has dedicated his entire being to be my father? To shape me and mold me, so that I would look more like Christ as the day goes by.
When it's hard for me to trust him and to obey him, I hear his still small voice that says "do not be afraid, Mekdes, I am your shield and your very great reward" Genesis 15:1. So, I decide to obey him again, because I love Him, because Christ is my reward and I need that because that's the essense of my calling, to be just like Christ. He continues to purchase me with his Love and his patience, He died for me because he loved me and He asks of me nothing without love. God is Love and I cannot not obey Love.
Lord, help me to trust you in all I do, to obey you thoroughly, to wait upon you and to continue to be filled with your spirit daily. So that I continue to live not for the moment but in light of eternity. Thank you for the truth of your word. "Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness." Psalm 115:1
I love you Daddy,