Sometimes I completely forget who I live for and start searching for truth in 'things' and 'people' around me. It's amazing how your insecurities can blind you and make you a prisoner that is craving for others attention and approval. I think sometimes we tie ourselves up with worries and burdens that we're not called to carry AT ALL.
Lately, I've been so satisfied with the Lord's presence in my life but something was missing, as if the light was not switched on all the way and I was feeling my way towards his presence and will for my life. I see Him working in my life, I see Him leading me, I have peace about where He's taking me but still I couldn't taste His sweetness. You know the quiet, still, sweet voice that speaks truth into your heart and calms your spirit completely...the spirit that affirms who you are in Christ is enough and nothing else you can gain or others 'assign' to you would make you any better or less...that spirit that fills you with complete FAITH because you know that you know that you know God spoke therefore, it's all good and that you're completely complete? That was missing and I was puzzled.
As I sought his face and as I paid attention to what I could be doing to push off the Holy Spirit from fully working in my life, he opened my eyes to things like taming my tongue which is usually stopping a sentence before even starting it b/c He is tuggin in me saying (you know that won't benfit either you or the listner) in my case. Sometimes I smile and say okay Lord, thank you for your intervention and sometimes I might roll my eyes but I still choose to obey...but if I don't I've learned that I'm missing out on taking a part in his devine spirit and the perfection of Christ likeness...I love a song an Ethiopian Christian Artis Tselot sang ...it goes..."Anten Memsel letikme new" translation..:) imitating You is for my own benefit. It's so true, I'm either blessed or disturbed by my own actions.
I'm so thankful for how the Lord switched the light on in my heart this week and He used a devotion I read here and there , most of you know Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost for his highest" and Dec.2nd's message truly touched me which I'm going to copy & past below since I can't pick and choose just a sentence. Okay I can pick just one part for now but make sure to read below, it goes "I am called to live in perfect relation to God so that my life produces a longing after God in other lives, not admiration for myself. Thoughts about myself hinder my usefulness to God." What a blessed man Chambers was?
I couldn't get the thought of God delighting in me b/c I'm in a perfect relation to Him and that's something only the Holy Spirit could measure, no man, no spiritual gift, no fame or wealth. Isn't that awesome. My friends, be encouraged that He who called you sees you and He that sees you has the Perfect eyes and is not judgemental but completely humble and compassionate. May He switch the dimmed light in your hearts as He's done for me.
"Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect. . . ." Philippians 3:12
It is a snare to imagine that God wants to make us perfect specimens of what He can do; God's purpose is to make us one with Himself. The emphasis of holiness movements is apt to be that God is producing specimens of holiness to put in His museum. If you go off on this idea of personal holiness, the dead-set of your life will not be for God, but for what you call the manifestation of God in your life. "It can never be God's will that I should be sick." If it was God's will to bruise His own Son, why should He not bruise you? The thing that tells for God is not your relevant consistency to an idea of what a saint should be, but your real vital relation to Jesus Christ, and your abandonment to Him whether you are well or ill.
Christian perfection is not, and never can be, human perfection. Christian perfection is the perfection of a relationship to God which shows itself amid the irrelevancies of human life. When you obey the call of Jesus Christ, the first thing that strikes you is the irrelevancy of the things you have to do, and the next thing that strikes you is the fact that other people seem to be living perfectly consistent lives. Such lives are apt to leave you with the idea that God is unnecessary, by human effort and devotion we can reach the standard God wants. In a fallen world this can never be done. I am called to live in perfect relation to God so that my life produces a longing after God in other lives, not admiration for myself. Thoughts about myself hinder my usefulness to God. God is not after perfecting me to be a specimen in His show-room; He is getting me to the place where He can use me. Let Him do what He likes.